It’s been almost 3 months since I opened my laptop on a Wednesday morning and found out that I was one of the 11,000 people let go from Meta. I was just 2 months into a role I had found was so perfect for me. For once, I actually enjoyed work sincerely. It was a big risk for me to leave my very first job. The job I remember praying I would get. So just a couple of months of resigning from Microsoft and getting into a groove of things at Meta…boom…my life felt turned upside down. For hours it seemed, I sat there in the living room staring out the patio window (that is after I made a TikTok capturing my reaction of the news that ended up being featured on tv in an Inside Edition story of the Meta layoff, this definitely gave me a much needed laugh). Funny enough, I was working remotely from Mexico and while it was sunny and vibrant as I looked outside, I felt nothing but despair and gloom on the inside.
Everyone said that I would be alright. That I would find something better. That’s probably true. Yet, I have to say this is the biggest unexpected thing to happen in quite some time. While I haven’t always liked every role I’ve had, I was always grateful to have a job to begin with. At the end of the day, a job is necessary in this capitalistic society. It’s what has paid for my trips, helped fund being able to create hair products, and helped me buy a house. I look at a job as a means to an end. But when that means to an end actually ends…it’s extremely scary and nerve-racking. Now that there have been so many layoffs since November, I know I am not alone. And somewhere down the line this will be a chapter that has ended.
As of now I can definitely say I am doing way better than the day I received the news. Below are some tips, advice, and actions that have helped so far and things I hope to continue to have in mind as I give myself grace during this time period.
Acknowledging Your Feelings May Be An Ongoing Process
Having emotions is the most unique thing about being human. You can process a situation and think you’re done being sad and then the emotions just hit you all over again. Well that’s what losing my job felt like. It’s no surprise to me that being laid off was ranked seventh among the most stressful life experiences. For the first 5 days after getting the news I just cried. I mourned the loss of what career I would’ve had at Facebook, the ideas I had, the sense of finally feeling like I found true alignment in my career. Sometimes there’s streaks of relief for this break I’ve had. Times where I am feeling hopeful. And times when I cry all over again, triggered by a job rejection email, bringing back the wave of anxiety and nervousness about losing my job in the first place. Sometimes there will be good times and sometimes there will be bad. But in the end, time keeps on moving and you’ll get to the next day. This is all apart of the process (I must remind myself this).
Look for Ways to Spark Joy
I am grateful for the breaks where I’ve had the chance to travel. The unexpected layoff taking place while I was in Mexico was wild. But instead of having to work during the day, I had the whole day off to spend doing whatever I wanted. The first weekend, I went zip-lining, ate at new restaurants, went out dancing, and spent so much time at the beach. That was so needed. In between the tears, I had so many moments of joy. In December, I had a lovely vacation in Atlanta for almost 3 weeks and rang in the New Year with loved ones. I really got to explore the city’s museums, aquarium, restaurants, events, and so much more. It was a breath of fresh air and I continue to look for ways to simply have fun.
Look for a Job When You’re Ready
I refreshed my resume the Sunday after getting laid off. What a sad day. I couldn’t believe I was dusting off my resume just months after getting hired. If you’ve been through tech interviews, you’ll know that it is INTENSE. Not just one interview, but one with the recruiter, then the hiring manager, then a series called “loops” with about 4 other people within the organization for about 30-45 minutes each. In total it’s about 5 hours of interviews. I went through that for the role I landed and also another role at the company I was interviewing for all in the same month. So a total of 10 hours of interviewing. Not including the prep work for those calls and the knots in your stomach as you get ready for them. And this was when I at least already had a job. Now, the playing field had changed and I had to start that process all over again.
I wasn’t ready to look for a new job in November and December, but I felt like I had to. Knowing that interview loops can take up to two months until an offer is made, I felt a sense of urgency to land something before my severance ended. All in all, I’m glad I didn’t spend too much time on the job search during those months because I was at the height of my sadness and job searching is extremely taxing. Taking the time to get your resume together is important but pick a month where you’re going to truly go all in. This will set up a realistic expectation for yourself on finding a new role and also just gives time to grieve and prepare yourself for the work it takes to secure a new role. Taking the end of the year to reflect and process was very therapeutic for me. January was my month to actively start my search. There’s been a lot of traction within my journey so far, so I am hopeful.
It’s the Best Time to Lean OUT
We’ve all heard of the phrase “lean in”, well I want to call this section “lean out” and make it a habit to get out of the house and be around others. I have had such a fun last few weeks with my loved ones and its really been what’s gotten me through this whole situation. Having more good that outweighs the negative. I’ve gone axe throwing, skating, to bouncy houses, the movies, top golf and more in just the first month of the year. It’s really nice to just have FUN! I need fun. We all need fun. So set the time to make sure you are getting OUT. Out of the house, out of your head, and out of your thoughts so that you will know what is true. So that you’ll know that you are not your job and that getting laid off isn’t a reflection of your worth.
Cultivate a New Schedule That You Like
Working 9-5pm is a huge chunk of the day and while it is great to spend time doing absolutely nothing, eventually you might want to add some sort of routine in your day. Frankly, humans are creatures of routine and it does feel good to know what to expect when you wake up the next day. It also provides some sort of balance with a new job search and living life intentionally during this time. For myself, I have loved creating an earlier night time routine so that I have more time to read at night. In one month, I’ve read 3 books: Zikora by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Homegoing by Yaa Gyasu, and The Defining Decade by Meg Jay, PHD. I wanted to prioritize getting more sleep and a routine that would enrich my mind. During the earlier part of my post-layoff experience, I was staying up as late as I wanted and waking up whenever my body felt it was time to wake up which was often around 11am, 12pm or even 1pm. And this worked just fine when I was on vacay and didn’t need to do anything specifically, but once I started to prioritize applying for jobs, it felt like I had no time during the day if I were just starting the search at 2 pm and the sun started to set at 4pm. I simply needed more time in the day. Taking a one hour walk a day, going to Orange Theory twice a week, and weekend fun have all been a part of my new schedule. I optimize my job search for Monday-Wednesday, while leaving most Thursday and Friday times to spend time with family or have a free day. It’s all about balance.
Pursue Activities You Didn’t Have Enough Time for Before
I spoke with a senior leader in marketing today and the one thing they said they wished they did when they were laid off was pursue things they didn’t have time for when they were working. After getting laid off I felt a period of feeling uninspired, unmotivated, drained, and trapped. I felt like I had such a block in creativity. So when I read about people using this time to create the next big startup or pursue their passions I felt like I just could not relate. This was really scary for me because as a person who considers themselves creative and an entrepreneur, not having an idea of what to pursue next at all felt like an identity crisis. So I stopped trying to think about what to do next for a while.
Keeping a brainstorming journal has helped me find some clarity in this fogginess. It’s what has led me back to writing today. I realize that writing is something that I do enjoy and something that I am good at. When I sought to turn blogging into a full-fledged stream of income, that’s when the fun of it got hijacked by the disappointment of perceived unreached goals and benchmarks. That’s no fun at all. And while turning a blog site into a business is appealing, I really needed to write. It feels like a weight is lifted from my shoulders when I express myself. I need to document this time period. I am glad I finally sat down and made this post.
Set Your Own Priorities and Rewrite Your Own Rules
Having all of this time really gave me a chance to take a look at the rules I created for myself that no longer served me. My last therapy session of 2022 really offered me some great points of reflection. It was a year with lots of challenges to deal with and getting laid off was the last straw. The all or nothing type of view and sometimes unrealistic expectations for myself have not been working. It doesn’t have to be a “well either you’re successful by this definition or you’re not.” You can take breaks. You can work slower towards goals. And sometimes things don’t work out. Take my hair product business for example. I cried so much when I made the decision to take a winter break from making products but I knew it was exactly what I needed to do during this time. In my eyes, I felt like not being able to push through and continue to produce products, create content on social media, and use this time to just go full-force in business was a failure on my part. But as my therapist would say: “Who said that? What evidence is there to support that?” These are all great questions and things I would say to a friend. Make up new rules that fit who you are now.
We might think that being so critical of ourselves helps us get up and moving, and sometimes it works but for the most part it doesn’t add much value into an already stressful situation. I had to ask myself “how has being harsh with myself worked out for me?” Bouts of burnout, exhaustion, and stomach flare ups don’t make this process the healthiest. So I am rewriting the rules I live by. A healthier way towards meeting goals. A healthier way of self talk.
I am still so grateful. For I know this experience can only add to my toolkit of resilience.
As always,
Take things step by step and day by day.
Thanks for being so transparent in a time of your life that seemed uncertain. I enjoyed reading this blog, and know that others too will find comfort in trusting the process of life, and taking everything day by day.